Whoops! I crapped my pants...

I knew that it was inevitable that the FDA would eventually be paid enough money in bribes, and perks that they would approve some not-ready-for-prime-time drug that addressed the issue of weight loss. And now it's here.

Alli (pronouned Ally) is a simple drug that prevents the body's absorption of fat. However if you overindulge that excess fat has to go somewhere.

Hence this quote directly from Alli's site:

"You may feel an urgent need to go to the bathroom. Until you have a sense of any treatment effects, it's probably a smart idea to wear dark pants, and bring a change of clothes with you to work"

I can vouch for the fact that if I were to shit myself at work or school from a pill that no pants of any color would prevent me from falling victim to merciless treatment from my peers et al. Suddently the 30 extra pounds I carry 'round seems like much less of a problem.

I can hardly wait to see what the next technological breakthrough in this field is around the corner. We've had some experience of late with these products. Consumption of Olestra and Wow! Chips resulted in nothing worse than "anal leakage" but this goes over the top. At no point during their possibility did any product containing Olestra have a warning label that advised wearing shit-colored clothing, just in case.

Just imagine the poor health concerned nut that took and Alli and ate a bag of Wow! Chips. Sombody'll have to get their O ring replaced.

Mouseketeer Alumni...

As Hammer just pointed out: Who'd have thunk that Christing would have turned out to be the classy one out of this bunch.

Just goes to show you, you can't predict anything.......unless it involves a change in the color of one's facial hair.

Osama featured on E! News...

...Ok, not really but it certainly makes for a catching title.

So Bin Laden has issued a new video aparently opting to go with free press rather than a New Release through Blockbuster. I learned this as I was fortunate enough to be listening to NPR for coverage of reactions to the new video. Usually I enjoy NPR's unbiased coverage and ability to go beyond scratching the surface of the story. However I was a bit concerned by the way in which NPR covered the story.

Most of the story focused on the did he or didn't he question, but not in regard to 9/11 etc. but rather on the issue of his beard color. There are apparently two camps on this, those who believe that Osama's beard is a complete fake in the spirit of the theater (e.g. spirit gum and horse hair) The other side believes that the new color is indicative of a slightly vain Al Quaeda leader concerned with appearing younger than he really is.

Here's my issue: what other major news organization focuses more on what the people look like than what they say....... E! News. And the other News organizations weren't any better.

I suppose that my real problem is that we're looking to a change in appearance as a prognosicator. The 'fake' camp states that Osama's beard is a replacement for his grey original which has fallen out because of the ravages of kidney failure. This would seem to indicate an ill man, trying desperately to appear well as a figurehead. As has already been stated regarding the other camp apparently Osama is undergoing a mid to late life crisis. Apparently he'll be sporting a cherry red convertible accompanied by bikini models in his next video if you follow their line of reasoning.

As for me I'll be watching "Dubya" to see if his tie in the next press conference is blue, red, or yellow as an indicator of which country we'll be invading next. And should the first lady be sporting a D and G handbag I'll assume that their sex life isnt' working out well.

God forbid Hugo Chavez should appear at his next anti-American rant in Prada eyeglasses indicating a sharp increase in Venuzeulan oil production which will lead to a decrease in oil prices allowing the Chineese to increase their consumption of petroleum leading to a decrease of radiation present in Chinese water sources.

Somehow I think that the networks should have focused on the text of Osama's speech and letting it speak for itself. Reading between the lines is fine, but they need to be lines....not pinstripes accompanied by a checkered shirt and a solid pink tie.