My own blather notwithstanding!

Ok, I feel like I'm jumping off the high dive on this one....

I like to talk informally as much as anyone, but there are a few things that chatty banter will ruin every time. I mean it really screws up the flow and effect of some moments.

1. Sex. There, I said it. There's nothing wrong with sweet nothings whispered in your love's ear, but coitus isn't the time to talk about the changing foliage, changing your Primary Care Physician, or North Korea's attitude toward nuclear proliferation.

2. During a concert. I used to sing with a professional ensemble that was incredibly good. They were really only limited by the inability of the conductor to find new repertoire, beat a steady pattern , or interact with human beings. In spite of all his shortcomings, the choir was damn fine. However nearly every musical selection was prefaced with his innane ramblings between pieces. So my advice to conductors, keep the chatter to a minimum unless you're an educationally based ensemble. If it must be said it had better be damned witty or exceptionally pertinent to the moment.

I did sing for many years under the esteemed baton of an incredibly gifted conductor that could actually pull the podium talk off, but it was always in an educational venue. He could do it, but he was absolutely the exception, not the rule!

3. During a dignified liturgical service. Now this is the catalyst for this entire rant. I really enjoy singing with a choir at a local parish on Sunday night. The other musicians are very fine, and the conductor does a terrific job. However the clergy engages in persistent unnecessary chatter which interrupts the flow of the service much the way this blather mucks up items 1 and 2. In spite of the fact that this congregation is probably more educated than the average Episcopal congregation (very smart indeed!) and all capable of reading the detailed service leaflet, the ministers feel the need to let us know that "Our processional hymn, #454, can be found in the music section of the service leaflet on page 12".

Please realize that this is only a single excerpt from the weekly liturgy, and an abridged one at that. Only a few weeks ago we wasted 30 seconds in the service waiting for the minister to find his service leaflet to tell us that the offertory hymn was #345, and that we would be singing all the verses. I would have much prefered to have that half minute shaved off the end of the service.

There's certainly nothing wrong with a moment or two of reflection, or informality. But c'mon! If you're going to have this wildly detailed service leaflet then let it speak for itself or be done with the damn thing.

Ok....rant ended.....I feel better.