PORN PORN PORN!!!

OH MY GOD!
Just when I thought that the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse were beginning to call off their impending trot around the world spreading destruction and doom, it came to my attention that the following was available:

MIRACLE OF CELINE DION (A Medley from the album "Miracle")
arr. Teena Chinn Warner Bros Publications
Miracle; If I Could; A Mother's Prayer and What a Wonderful World are selected from Celine Dion's hit CD and beautifully arranged by Teena Chinn. Choirs everywhere will want to perform this in their spring concerts this year!

This blurb lifted from the JW Pepper Website.
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So here's my list of the reflections on this

10. Any new music by Celine Dion, should accompanied by a "motion sickness" receptacle. You know those little bags in the seat back on airplanes? Yep.....one of those. The phrase for the Ides of March is "I just threw up in my mouth, just a little"

9. Any new music arranged by Teena Chinn (regardless of the original artist) is paltry crap, and should be accompanied by one of those home enema kits. You're about to stock up on someone else's feces, so you should be removing all of your own to make space.

8. The combo of Teena Chin and Celine is anathema, and should any self-respecting musician individually purchase this, I call for their immediate destruction. This is most certainly the will of ZOD!

7. Have you seen this cover art? It's actually on the octavo in Black and White. This infant is almost certainly doomed to an irretrivably evil future. Let's hope he merely becomes an arranger of pop music for Warner Brothers, rather than another Rasputin or Hitler. (My money is on the latter, not the former)

6. Can you believe that someone would publish this? I am calling for the immediate destruction of the editor that approved this publication. WHORE!

5. Furthermore, can you believe that a company would actually promote this in a catalogue? JW Pepper is the Wal-Mart of the Sheet Music Retail world. HEY ZOD.....see what you can do about this too while you're busy smiting people

4. My venerable employer will put this on our annual reading session.

3. My venerable employer will put this on our company website

2. Customers will undoubtedly think that this is the sort of shit that their little Jr. High and High School kids ought to be doing, thereby wasting OUR tax money, and rotting the minds of future generations with this schlock.

Every wonder why Americans are getting dumber? Just look to the quality of Music Education in this country. Do you know what names I write down more than any others every day? Shaw, Lojeski, Emerson, Billingsley, Chinn, Huff, Althouse, and Albrecht. Fuck saving social security...........take away the money of the idiots educating our children who EXCLUSIVELY buy this shit. That's correct, some folks can spend an entire year's budget and never purchase a single piece of legitimate music. Take away there money and give it to the band folks so they can buy more Brass band stuff by Percy Grainger.

ATTN: ZOD...........any chance you can smite the Educators who buy this junk?

1. Undoubtedly someone I respect will call and order this piece. And they'll fell guilty about it........you know what? They'll wheedle and plead and say things like, "...its really not that bad" Screw you people! Go ahead and buy it! Just remember that I'm watching and keeping score!